


In Our Memories Of You

by oceansbelow



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Tifa Lockhart, Body Horror, F/F, Final Fantasy VII Remake, Final Fantasy VII Remake Spoilers, Friends to Lovers, Gay Rights, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Zack Fair Lives, canon adjacent, if nomura wont give me gay rights then i'll give them to myself goodnight, it is ff7 so there will be some violence and fighting, kind of, she deserves to be tall and buff and i will not stand for this slander against her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceansbelow/pseuds/oceansbelow
Summary: Zack Fair died protecting Cloud Strife, and he was supposed to stay dead. Except now, for some reason, he wasn't. Now with no food, no water, no friends and no sword, there's nothing else for Zack to do except go to Midgar. He could also die. Again. But that's not really an option. Who knows, maybe he'll bump into old friends.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart, Cloud Strife & Barret Wallace, Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife, Zack Fair & Aerith Gainsborough, Zack Fair & Barret Wallace, Zack Fair & Tifa Lockhart, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife, while there is going to be clack it's going to be plot first romance second
Comments: 80
Kudos: 184





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! welcome to my first long fic. i'm aware that this probably isn't a new concept, however i'm just here for a fun gay time and i want to write clack considering i've been having the ff7 brain worms since i finished the remake a few weeks ago and finished crisis core a couple days ago. i love writing himbos and i very much hope u enjoy how i write this himbo ! thank u. enjoy

Zack Fair was dead.

At least, he was supposed to be.

He never really wondered what it was like to die, or what being dead would be like, but he guessed that never ended up mattering, considering that he was dead anyways. Or, again, supposed to be.

He  _ had _ heard the stories, though. His soul was supposed to return to the planet, become part of the Lifestream, to merge and divide and merge again with all the other souls that made the world go round and all that crap. But the thing was… he wasn’t exactly doing much of that right now. Was that normal for the newly dead?

He’d been told that part of returning to the planet meant shedding your mortal identity and just becoming another soul in a sea of them. Well, he remembered Angeal saying that at least once. Once upon a time, the prospect of losing everything that made you  _ you _ , save for a legacy that meant nothing in the afterlife scared him, but as he lay there bleeding to death, with a just-woken up Cloud staring down at him with his own blood staining his face and hair and tears in his eyes, Zack began to think that maybe, just maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. But that could just be the pain and blood loss talking.

Well, he wasn’t shedding any identities, and he certainly wasn't disappearing into a sea of souls, despite all the magic around him --

Wait.

Zack tried drawing in a deep breath, just to see if he could. He didn’t, and tried flexing his fingers instead. He could, and decided that was good enough proof that he did in fact have a body or at least something that counted as one, wherever he was, and opened his eyes.

He didn’t know what he was expected, but it definitely wasn’t this. A whole horizon of nothingness spread in front of him, filled with nothing but him and the steady stream of bright green… something, that surrounded him. The Lifestream? Probably.

Now that he was aware that he  _ was _ , if he listened, he realized that the magical buzz surrounding him was also punctuated by a soft yet constant whispering. If he dipped his hand into the stream, the whispering grew louder, the words almost clear, as though he were eavesdropping on a hushed conversation. Knowledge, he realized. Knowledge of the dead.

He took his hand back out.

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that, trapped in this weird limbo of being dead but not yet part of the planet, trying not to listen too hard to the whispering and accidentally overload his mind with thousand year old knowledge he probably shouldn’t know about. At least he wasn’t in any pain. That was always a plus.

Eventually there was a point where the whispering got louder on its own, without Zack having to dip his hand into anything. The whispering grew louder, and the stream widened into a river of green, the current tugging him at first, before sweeping him away into the nothingness.

And for a while there was more nothingness. And then he realized that he was sweating. Why did September have to be so  _ hot _ in the desert?

He gasped suddenly, the realization that he could  _ breathe and feel and he was alive oh gods he was alive -- _

He drew a deep breath of dry, Waste air into his lungs, trying to keep himself from panicking, because if he panicked in the middle of the desert like this he’d just die again, except from heat exposure or dehydration this time. He took a moment to steady himself a little further, and shakily got to his feet. He had a long hike to Midgar ahead of him. He had to know if Cloud was okay, and getting to Midgar seemed like a good start.

He put a hand over his now beating heart and managed a small smile. For better or worse, Zack Fair was alive.


	2. Cloud Commits Identity Fraud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the support!! i really didn't think that i'd even get one comment, posting that prologue ^^ i hope you all enjoy this chapter! i apologize if the pacing's a bit off, but it's one of those "game" chapters i wanted to write to establish first before getting into the juicy stuff. also it's a very fun opportunity to try and get the characters down in my head lmao
> 
> and a personal shoutout to my friends owl and phil for listening to me scream at them for hours on end and owl specifically for enabling me to do this HJKLGHDFK
> 
> also i noticed all too late that i tagged ff8 in the fandoms rather than ff7 so i'm really sorry about that!! if there's any of you that found this fic through the ff8 tag. im sorry i cannot read. anyways. hope u enjoy this chapter!!

He had no idea how long he walked, dragging a line in the barren dirt with the sword that was his but also wasn’t, the merciless sun beating down on his burning back, the static in his mind growing with every step. Nothing felt  _ right. _ He shouldn’t have been alone, but he was now. The sword wasn’t his, but it was now. Why?

The person he was with… his friend. He tried to remember his name, why his blood stained his face, tried to push through the static hard enough to get to the memories it was trying to hide, but every time he came even close to becoming aware, to just reaching through that veil and reach those memories he needed, the static would just get louder and rip him apart and left him scrambling to piece himself back together.

But he had to keep going. He didn’t know why, but he had to keep going. If the static had to rip everything up and away from him, he would at least have that safe. He just had to keep going.

So he kept going, trekking through the barren wasteland, always so close to losing himself entirely to the static, almost falling over and not coming back up. But he kept going, until the sky went from bright blue to pink and orange to dark black.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

K  e  e  p  
g o i n g . . .

“Cloud?!”

Huh?

“Cloud? Gods, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

When… When did he end up on the ground? Where… was he?

Someone grabbed his shoulders as a pair of bright red eyes gazed down at him. Their thumb touched his cheek, gasping at the crusted blood (his blood? He didn’t remember getting hurt) that came away. He stared up at them, trying to think of why he knew their face and grimacing when the static flared and his head throbbed.

The hand came away from him, but his head hurt too much to notice. The static tore up all those memories it was hiding until there was nothing left of him. And then it flared up even more, until he could barely even register the solid, paved ground beneath him.

And suddenly everything snapped into place. He was Cloud Strife, ex-SOLDIER First Class. He was there to see Tifa, his friend from Nibelheim.

He frowned slightly. Why was he on the ground? He just got off the train. He got to his feet, dusting himself off as the person just stared at him. “Cloud?” they asked, and as he looked up at them he realized that they  _ were _ Tifa. “Can you hear me?”

Cloud nodded. “Loud and clear,” he said, then added, face softening from its hard expression, “It’s good to see you, Tifa.”

She stared at him as though she didn’t understand (which wasn’t unexpected - he  _ did _ just show up), then she just drew in a deep breath and managed a small, uneasy smile. “It’s good to see you too, Cloud. What are you doing here?”

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, looking away. “I quit Shinra. Decided I’m better off a merc.”

There was a moment before Tifa answered. Then she drew in a deep breath and took Cloud’s hand. “Alright. Can you walk?”

He frowned, confused. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

Tifa stared at him for a little more, then shook her head. “Nevermind. Come on, we can talk over dinner,” she said. “We can figure out living arrangements afterwards.”

***

The past two days flew by. Tifa had brought him to her bar, the Seventh Heaven (which he briefly scoffed at, because he got the pun). She said she could ask her landlady to give him the free room next to hers, but in the meantime he was allowed to sleep in the spare room above the bar and get himself settled in the slums.

She cooked him some dinner and he hadn’t realized just how hungry he was until he smelled it from the stove, and the subsequent time he had to wait was spent on willing his stomach not to growl (which he failed, and Tifa laughed at).

They talked, mainly Tifa asking him questions in rapid succession (“What have you been doing since you left?” “Did you hear about what happened at Nibelheim?” “When did you leave?”) to which Cloud’s head just throbbed and answers just tumbled out of his mouth (“I joined SOLDIER.” “I was there, Tifa, remember?” “I…”). Eventually he turned the conversation back to Tifa, asking her what she’d been doing in the past five years in turn, which was how he found out about how she was actually part of Avalanche, the terrorist group.

They were setting up for a mission, she had said, and they would appreciate any professional help, and it would help start out Cloud’s merc career.

He shrugged and said sure, he didn’t mind, considering it was against Shinra and it was for an old friend. Tifa grinned, elated, and said she’d have him meet Barret, their leader, the next day. For now, he was welcome to go up and get some rest.

Cloud hadn’t thought about how he probably should have gone to help Tifa as she cleared away their plates and pans, but now that there was food and water in his stomach, an exhaustion he didn’t know he even had set deep into his bones, and he only just managed to make it up the stairs before collapsing into bed.

***

Cloud decided he didn’t like Barret. At all.

He came barging in while Cloud was having dinner with Tifa after she’d closed up shop for the night, proclaiming how amazing he was and how he “had this whole mission in the damn bag”, before realizing that his kid was right behind him and proceeded to give her a quick lecture about how she shouldn’t say such bad words.

“And who’s the skinny-a - who’s this?” he asked Tifa. “Never seen ‘im around before.”

“This is Cloud Strife, ex-SOLDIER gone merc,” she explained. “He’s an old friend of mine and he’s been looking for jobs. I thought he’d be a great addition to the group.”

“For a price,” Cloud added.

Barret barked out a laugh. “Skinny  _ and _ cocky, huh?” he asked, then slammed his fist down on the table, causing Cloud’s fork to fall and his glass tip over. “How much,  _ merc? _ ”

“Two thousand. And for this job, only.”

Barret snorted disapprovingly and hit Cloud’s back hard enough with the butt of his hand to get him to choke on his rice. “Fine, but only for this job. Just to getcha on ya feet.”

When Cloud was done coughing up his dinner and bitterly cleaning up the mess Barret made (he refused to let Tifa clean this one up this time), he followed them into their underground hideout to meet the rest of the team, get briefed over the mission and go over money and supplies. After everything was settled, and having to deal with subtle flirting from Biggs and very  _ not _ subtle flirting from Jessie, Barret finally released him and he went back up to the bar proper.

Tifa waited until everyone had left before going around and locking up properly. “I know Barret’s a bit… much,” she said, chuckling nervously. “But he’s a good man.”

“Never said he wasn’t,” Cloud muttered.

“Anyways,” Tifa continued. “Marle, my landlady, said she can get you a room by tomorrow night. She said she was already busy with a new tenant today. You can stay here again tonight, and tomorrow I’ll show you the place after the mission. Sounds good?”

Cloud nodded, sighing softly. “Sounds good. Thanks, Tifa.”

She grinned. “Not a problem. I’m always glad to help.”

***

The reactor job was a disaster.

Well, not exactly. Technically, it was a success, but the consequences were an absolute disaster. Cloud doubted that Avalanche wanted to cause this much trouble, especially after the briefing. He  _ recognized _ Jesse’s explosives. They weren’t supposed to blow up the entire reactor, just destroy the equipment enough to be more than a minor inconvenience. That’s what they promised to Tifa, when she asked them not to hurt anyone, and by the looks on their faces and Jessie’s worried muttering, it wasn't their intention to lie.

But it was like he’d said when they just arrived at Sector 8. What’s done is done, and there was no turning back. They just needed to get back home undetected. Cloud was fine getting to the station the easy way, until the bridge fell.

He was suddenly in Nibelheim, the same, awful, familiar smell of smoke and burning flesh filling up his nose. And he was there, in the middle of all of it, helpless to stop it. And there, in front of him, was -

Static pressed in on his mind and he turned away, holding his head with a hand and finding himself back on the street in Sector 8, staring uncomfortably at the burning building in front of him.

He blew out a breath. He was just seeing things. Probably.

And then he turned around, and came face to face with --

More rubble fell as something exploded. Cloud shielded his face from a wave of heat, and as he moved it away, everything was burning again, this time a grotesque mix of Midgar and Nibelheim. All of it on fire. And in front of him, beckoning him to follow, was Sephiroth.

He grimaced, head throbbing and heart pumping with all the static as he followed after him, into a burning alleyway. Smoke stung his nostrils and Cloud fought the urge to break down into a full-on coughing fit as Sephiroth turned into the corner. He had to follow him.

None of this made sense - Sephiroth was dead. How could he be here? How could Cloud be seeing him? Some hallucinations? Mako-induced delusions?

“You’re not real!” He managed, struggling up the stairs. “You’re dead! I killed you with my own - ”

“Oh, you need not remind me,” Sephiroth replied, smoothly. “It was the crowning achievement of our time together.” He turned, smiling wickedly at Cloud. “But that was then, and this is now. I have a favor to ask, Cloud.”

Cloud could barely think with all the smoke in his lungs and blood roaring in his ears. Sephiroth was  _ here _ and  _ alive _ even though he should have  _ died _ years ago.

Sephiroth spread his arms out, gesturing to the flames around them. “Our beloved planet is dying. Slowly. Silently. Painfully. Can you bear to see the planet suffer…” He met his gaze, baring his teeth in a grin. “...Cloud?”

The scene changed, and Cloud was suddenly on the ground, staring up at his childhood home as it went up in flames. “Mom…” he whimpered, futilely reaching out to her. “Mom!”

Sephiroth’s voice slithered in and out of his ears, dripping with mockery. “Were the planet to die, so many things would be lost. Your hometown that burns so bright… The sound of her voice pleading me to spare you… The shiver of her flesh yielding to cold steel.”

And Cloud was back in the burning alleyway, breathing heavily and sweating from all the heat, watching as Sephiroth continued to mock him. “That which binds us together would be no more, and I would be loathe to live in such a world. Which is why I must ask you this one favor. Don’t worry. It’s a simple thing.” He held his gaze once more, smiling coyly. “Run, Cloud… Run away.You have to leave… You have to live.”

At that point, the blood roaring in Cloud’s ears, the fear, the rage, everything got too much, and Cloud seized the sword from his back, leaping at Sephiroth, meaning to hit him with everything he had. “You bastard!”

But the second he landed, Sephiroth was gone, and so were the flames and smoke. It was just Cloud in the alleyway in Sector 8, with nothing left of Sephiroth’s presence than the film of sweat coating his skin and his voice in the back of his mind.

_ Good, Cloud. Very good… Hold on to that hatred. _

Cloud breathed heavily for a few moments, trying to get his heartbeat to calm down. “I’m seeing things,” he told himself. “Fumes from all the mako, maybe.”

Working his way through the rest of the wreckage and Shinra troops after that was less than ideal, but nothing he couldn’t handle. It took some evasions, some annoying fights, and jumping onto the train (thereby scaring Barret half to death, which he noted with some satisfaction), but they eventually made it back to the Sector 7 slums.

Where the whole group proceeded to nearly blow their cover entirely. Cloud fought the urge to to bring his hand to his head. These people really were rookies.

It was a relief to get back to Tifa, and less of a relief to realize that his fees were not going to be paid even though Barret had explicitly told him that he’d get them back at the bar.

He was not going to work with these people ever again.

“How was it, up on the plate?” Tifa asked, as they made their way to the apartments. “Is it really as bad as it is on the news?”

“The news is just another Shinra mouthpiece,” Cloud replied, a little too quickly. “But… the footage was real. It was that bad.”

Tifa looked away. “Oh…” She brought her hands together, fiddling with her thumbs. “Um, anyways, the apartments are just up this way. They’re good, for the slums.”

Cloud just nodded along. He didn’t mind, and the way Tifa immediately perked up as she took his arm and practically  _ yanked _ him up the stairs made a small, still juvenile part of him a little happy to see her this excited. “You’re on the second floor, with me!” She gestured to the first door on the left. “This is my room, 201, and here is yours! 202.”

He tilted his head to the next door down - the one that was supposed to have been rented out just last night. “Do you know who’s been staying there?”

Tifa shook her head. “No, I was too busy with the bar. Didn’t get the chance to meet him. Marle likes him, apparently.”

Huh. Great.

Cloud nodded and opened the door. Maybe he’d have introductions tomorrow. And probably intimidate them into staying away from his shit. Probably.

“Um… And about your fees,” Tifa began, sheepishly as she held out a not-very-heavy pouch of gil. “I’m so sorry, this is all we could spare tonight, the rest was used for the mission.”

He sighed. Of course he’d be cut fifteen hundred short. “This isn’t enough.”

“I know!” Tifa said, quickly. “But tomorrow we’ll be going around replacing filters, we’ll make up the difference then. You can help, if you want, but -- ah, shit, no, then we’ll owe you even more -- “

“I’ll just take the two thousand,” he cut in. “That’ll just leave the fifteen hundred you owe me.”

Tifa immediately brightened, grinning again. “Okay! Thank you so much, Cloud - it means a lot. So, yeah! Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite! See you tomorrow.”

And with that, she left, closing the door behind her. Cloud sighed wearily. What the hell did he just get into? He decided not to think about it for tonight, as he set the Buster Sword down beside the bed and for the second night in a row, collapsed into it and fell asleep immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: for the sephiroth scene i opened a sephiroth cutscene compilation and wrote it down paragraph by paragraph as things happened, and then made it into a cohesive story scene later. crisis core has made me stan this bitchass whore and i refuse to do him dirty.
> 
> i would also really appreciate any feedback in the comments! this is my first time trying to write something substantially long and i want this fic to stand as a testament to my improvement. if there's anything i could do better with my writing, please let me know!


	3. Local Cranky Landlady Adopts Yet Another Stray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! sorry about the longer wait, but as you can probably tell, this chapter is _way_ longer than the previous two. i've also come up with a good title! probably! it isn't really a reference to any songs, i just thought it fit, considering the story [insert knifecat here]
> 
> as always, i'm open to any and all feedback in the comments! thank you for reading <3

It took way too long for Zack to get to Midgar. The only leads he had were the sun as a compass and an almost gone set of footprints, accompanied by a thin line in the sand where a sharp edge had cut into it.

Cloud, maybe? Zack could only hope.

He’d woken up at dawn. He didn’t know exactly just how long he’d spent being dead before the Lifestream decided to get rid of him (something he chose not to think over the implications of) but from the look of the remaining puddles of mud around him, he thought there was a good chance that it had only been a day since his death. So, without wasting any time (he’d decided to have his brief, two second freakout while he was walking) he got straight to covering ground.

Without Cloud with him, comatose or otherwise, Zack hadn't realized how much he relied on him for company. It had been getting on to midday when he began feeling like tearing his own hair out, so he took to humming a tune to fill the silence. It wasn't anything he could remember, but the mental image of Aerith singing the song it was from as she tended to her garden in the church stayed at the forefront of his mind. He'd hang around behind her, being a nuisance as always. And as always, Aerith would just laugh and push him out of the way.

Ah, he shouldn’t have thought about Aerith.

Five years since they’d last spoken to each other, and almost a whole year since her last letter… Was she still waiting for him, after all this time? Had she moved on?

Zack stopped walking, staring at the dusty ground beneath him. “I’m so sorry, Aerith,” he murmured. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

He let himself wallow in the silence and guilt for a moment, but only just a moment. Then he shoved all that sadness and regret down and kept walking. It wouldn’t help anyone if he just sat there, drowning in his own self-pity, least of all Aerith. He had to keep moving if he wanted to see her again. So keep moving, Zack.

He took to humming again, this time some inane tune like the chocobo jingle that always played on the radio, adamantly refusing to think about Aerith and Cloud for the rest of the journey.

It was getting dark when Zack finally reached the outskirts of the Sector 7 slums. He slipped underneath a gap in the fence just outside the train station just as there was a shift change with the guards patrolling the area. His stomach clenched as he caught sight of their guns; the planet may have healed his wounds, but Zack could still remember the pain very clearly.

He wished he still had the Buster Sword, but now that he’d given it to Cloud, he wasn’t going to take it back. He still meant what he said about Cloud being his living legacy, even though Zack was alive again. That just meant he had to find something else to do with his life. Piece of cake, right?

After dodging guard patrols, snaking around huge piles of junk and trying to quietly blast any monsters that came to harass him, Zack was finally greeted by the Sector 7 slums sign. He blew out a breath, deflating with exhaustion. He made it.

"You're looking a little lost, boy," said someone behind him. "Haven't seen you around here."

Zack was startled so badly that he almost blasted this little old lady to smithereens. Instead, he managed a smile, trying to cover up how frayed his nerves were. "That obvious, huh?"

The woman shrugged. "Lots of people have been popping up lately. It doesn't take much to guess." She smiled. "Luckily for you, I own an apartment building near the local bar, if you're in need of a place to stay. I'm Marle."

Could he trust this woman? Maybe, but Zack was still a fugitive. If he got into trouble, then so would Marle, and he didn't have any weapons aside from the few materia he'd woken up with.

He managed another small, uneasy smile. "I'm Zack. It's nice to meet you," he said. "It's really kind of you to offer, ma'am, but I don't have any money."

Marle scoffed, waving her hand at him. "I'm no money-loving dog like those Shinra bastards. I take other forms of payment." She gestured for him to start moving. "Now, come. You look like you're going to collapse any moment."

Zack opened his mouth to argue with her, then realized that she was right, because he found out he was too tired to argue with her. He closed it again and nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

“Just call me Marle,” she said, snorting. “You’re making me feel old with all that ma’am talk.”

He nodded again, listlessly, and followed her down a path into town until they came to stop in front of a two storey building with a large sign sitting on top of it. A dog was sitting on the porch, right next to a rocking chair. It jumped up when it caught sight of Marle, barking and tail waving as it bounded over to sniff at her.

She chuckled, kneeling down to pet it as it slobbered all over her hands. "I was gone for only an hour, you mangy mutt," she said, affectionately. She turned to Zack. "This is Rocky. He's a bit of an attention seeker, but he's harmless. Are you coming in?"

Zack couldn't respond, because at that point Rocky had knocked him to the ground and was mercilessly licking his face and throwing Zack into a fit of laughter. Marle just huffed fondly, and gently nudged Rocky away before pulling Zack back up.

"Well it seems that the dog likes you," she stated.

Zack laughed and got to his feet. "I like him too," he replied, then cleared his throat. "But, uh, yeah. You were saying?"

Marle rolled her eyes. “You. Inside. Now.”

He nodded and ducked his head as he passed through the door. “Yes ma’am.”

The apartment itself wasn’t large by any means, with the bedroom and dining area being in the same room, with only two doors leading off to what Zack guessed was the kitchen and bathroom. The bed itself was probably the nicest thing in the entire apartment, being the least dirty and worn piece of furniture. There were pictures everywhere, most of them of a man about Zack’s age who had a smile just like Marle’s.

"I'm no military sergeant, boy," she said, gently smacking the back of his neck with a newspaper roll. "Quit it with the ma'am talk."

"Yes ma -- Marle."

She rolled her eyes again, then gestured to the little round table pushed up against the side of the room. "Sit while I make us some dinner."

Zack decided not to argue, lest he get smacked by the newspaper roll again, pulled up a chair and sat.

Now that he was actually sitting down, everything hit him like a bag of bricks being swung at his face. He was  _ exhausted _ ; his mouth was as dry as the Wasteland itself, his stomach felt ready to cave in, and he could already feel blisters forming on his feet.

“You smell awful,” Marle said, as she went into the kitchen. “You really need a shower.”

He sighed. That too.

“Once you release me, I will,” he promised.

Marle laughed. “I’ll hold you to that - I won’t have you stinking up my apartments.”

He found himself laughing with her despite his exhaustion. “Wouldn’t want that, huh?”

To that, she just told him to be quiet and got to cooking, leaving the kitchen door open. They made idle, friendly conversation until she was finished cooking, which she then asked him to set the table for them. Soon enough, the table was set and the food was prepared. Rocky had settled at the foot of Zack’s chair, already looking at him mournfully before he even had the chance to put his food on his plate.

“You spoiled mutt,” Marle tutted. “I already fed you!”

In reply, Rocky just whined and nosed Zack’s boots. Zack, in turn, gave Marle a pleading look. “Come onnnn, Marle,” he whined. “Just a little.”

She tutted again. “If my dog gets fat, you’re paying for the vet bills,” she said, disapprovingly.

Zack just shrugged, smiling as he gave Rocky a piece of his meat. “I can live with that.

They spent the rest of dinner making even more idle chatter. Marle told him about the slums, how things worked here and what he could do to make money. Every so often, she’d ask a question that bordered on being a little too personal for Zack’s liking, and he’d just dodge it and ask her something inane instead. She didn’t push, which he was extremely thankful for, and by the end of it, he began to feel a little more human. He offered to wash up, but Marle smacked his hands with the newspaper roll (which he swore just appeared out of thin air) and said, “I may be old, but I am not about to have my guests do my dishes for me.”

“Think of it as part of my payment,” Zack offered.

She crossed her arms and shook her head. “You don’t owe me anything until I put the keys in your hand, boy.”

However, Zack was already up and moving, picking up all their dirty dishes and dancing around Marle’s newspaper roll until he got to the sink with a triumphant grin on his face. “Well,  _ I _ say I’m your tenant now,” he said, as he started scrubbing at the plates. “And I’m starting off my payment by doing your dishes.”

Marle sighed heavily, crossing her arms. “Fine,” she conceded, and he heard her walk off as she said, “You win this round, boy.”

When he was done, she had reappeared in the kitchen doorway with a plastic bag and a key in her hands. “This is your room key,” she said, handing them off to him. “And these were my grandson’s. I don’t have much use for them, and gods know that you need another change of clothes, so you can have them.”

He stared at the bag, then at her, dumbfounded. “Marle, I - “

“You can thank me by showering,” she interrupted, then tilted her head to the front door. “Now come on, I’ll show you your apartment.”

He let her lead him out, but not without getting a goodbye kiss from Rocky, who he decided he would readily put down his life for, and followed her up the stairs. She passed by the first two rooms - 201 and 202 - instead showing him to the last one at the end of balcony-landing-thing Zack never really knew what to call. “Here you are,” she said, gesturing to the door. “Room 203.”

“Who’s in the first two?” He asked.

“201’s a long-time tenant,” Marle said. “She works the bar, Seventh Heaven. 202’s empty, but I didn’t want a loverboy like you  _ right _ next to the only woman in the building.”

“Hey!”

She gave him a look, smirking. “Well, aren’t you?”

He sputtered for a moment, then remembered how he’d flirted with Aerith on sight and grimaced. “Okay, you got me there.”

Marle put her hand on his shoulder, suddenly somber. “I like you, Zack,” she said, and sighed sadly. “Please don’t give me a reason to evict you.”

He frowned. “What do you - ?”

She gestured to his face, then to the steel sky above them. “You’ve got SOLDIER eyes, boy. There’s a reason why you’re not up there, and I’m not going to make you tell me, but Shinra’s done enough to the folks down here.”

Zack cast his gaze over the slums around them, really taking in how… scrappy, everything was. Everything had been built out of scrap, buildings made out of discarded sheets of metal and plastic from when the plate was constructed. He thought about the pristine suburbs on the plate, and how everything was always shiny and brand new. He’d never thought about how much these people suffered down here.

He sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

Marle nodded, and turned to leave. “Goodnight, Zack,” she said, then added with a small smile, “Don’t forget that shower.”

And with that she was gone, leaving Zack alone with his thoughts in front of his new apartment. He drew in a deep breath and stuck the key into the door, opening it to reveal... 

A really bare apartment.

Well, it wasn’t  _ that  _ bad, all things considered. There was a bed, a sink and two separated stalls for the toilet and shower, but it certainly wasn’t the luxury apartment Shinra had issued him in Sector 1. It felt a little like home in Gongaga: rustic and cozy.  _ And _ he wasn’t spending another night in the freezing desert, for which he was very happy about.

He locked the door behind him and, leaning against it, began rooting through the little plastic bag Marle had given him. There was plain, faded cotton shit, equally faded jeans, a threadbare coat, a towel, socks and… 

Gods, did Marle really have to give him  _ underwear? _

Embarrassment aside, Zack couldn’t help but feel extremely thankful for her. He’d have to repay her somehow…

But first, shower. Second, sleep.

Zack finally shucked his boots off his feet, then immediately scrunched his face up at the smell. Okay, those were going outside tonight. After locking the door again behind him, he dumped the contents of the plastic bag onto his bed, then snatched up the towel and retreated into the shower stall, where he proceeded to throw all of his stinky SOLDIER clothes over the stall door before turning on the water and making it as hot as he could stand.

It felt good, despite how bad the water smelled. It just felt good to stand there, in the dark, scrubbing all the grime and sweat off his skin until he felt clean for the first time in years. And then he just stood there, letting the water run over his skin, because this was his  _ home _ now, and he could just  _ stand there _ , for as long as he wanted. No hurried, panicked dips in the rivers, no quick showers at various inns, none of that.

When he was done and towelled off, he pulled on the clean pair of boxers and shirt from Marle (SOLDIERS may be monsters, but he was  _ not _ going to sleep in jeans) and gathered up the discarded uniform from the floor and shoved them into the plastic bag, tying it off and dumping it underneath the sink so he’d remember to find the local laundromat in the morning. Everything else was thrown over the bed railing for tomorrow.

Completely exhausted, Zack finally let himself collapse into the now clear bed, not having been bothered to pull away the sheets. He was out before his head even hit the pillow.

***

The next day’s order of business was to get a new weapon as fast as possible. And maybe some extra funds along the way. And also see if he could get his clothes to a laundromat.

It was almost midday by the time Zack woke up (he couldn’t help but think of how horrified Angeal would have been) and he’d gone to see Marle right after getting ready and dressed. She'd immediately pulled him inside for breakfast. “I was going to take you to Seventh Heaven to meet your neighbor,” she said. “But you’d slept in so long, I thought I’d just get you takeaway instead.”

“Marle,” Zack began, “you didn’t - ”

“Have to?” She guessed, smiling. “No, but I wanted to. So eat up.”

Maybe it was because he’d had a good night’s rest for the first time in forever and he was actually capable of processing emotions again, but Zack’s eyes stung and he had to fight the urge to just sit at the little dining table and bawl his eyes out right then and there. Instead, he just picked up his chopsticks and ate his omurice until the urge was gone entirely.

“I’ve spoken to some of the shopkeepers around here,” Marle said, while he ate. “Some of them have some jobs that need taking up. Pest control and the like.”

Zack frowned. “But I don’t have a weapon.”

She waved her hand at him. “I’m sure you can squeeze something out of the weapons dealer,” she said, in a way that implied that that wouldn’t be that easy to accomplish. She picked up his empty plate and hurried to the kitchen before he could ask what that meant. “Good luck!”

Zack sighed, vowing that he’d get her back later. He thanked her, then left and headed down to the weapons dealer, who was… less than nice.

"The fuck are you saying?!" demanded the dealer in question. "I don't even know who the fuck you are, and you're askin' me for  _ my fuckin' sword, that I bought so lovin'ly,  _ as a _ down payment?" _

Zack groaned, rubbing his face. " _ C'mon _ , man! How am I supposed to do the job for you if I don't have a weapon?"

The dealer snorted. "Then why are you offering, dumb shit?"

It was at this point one of the other customers came to Zack’s rescue; a man with spiky brown hair and a winning smile, with a bright red bandana wrapped around his forehead. “C’mon, Frank. The kid needs a weapon,” he said. “I’ll cover the cost if he runs off with it.”

The dealer, Frank, crossed his arms, relenting. “Fine,” he said. “But it’ll cost double if he does.”

“Hello!” Zack interjected, indignant. “I’m not going to run off on a job! I got more honor than  _ that!” _

Frank scoffed. “Honor don’t mean shit down here, but whatever. You do the job, you get to keep the sword, but I ain’t payin’ you extra.”

Ouch, but fair.

“Alright,” Zack said, then put on his Best Smile. “Just tell me what I gotta do and where.”

Frank sighed, muttering something about how he was “gonna get eaten alive down here” then turned around and presented the sword they were arguing about in question. “There are some wererats hanging around the back of the building,” he explained. “They’ve been attacking customers and scaring them off. Kill ‘em.”

The man with the red bandana tapped Zack’s shoulder. “C’mon,” he said. “I’ll come and show you.”

Zack nodded absently, too busy examining the sword to respond. It was a greatsword, like the Buster Sword, but it was thinner, with an arrowhead at the top and three materia slots. He ran his hand over it, brushing his fingertips over the metal. It seemed sturdy, which was good enough for him. He set it against his harness magnet (which he almost forgot to put on this morning) and followed the man out.

“Sorry about Frank, he gets real prickly with all the newbies,” he’d been saying, and held his hand out to Zack. “I’m Biggs.”

Zack smiled and took Biggs’ hand, shaking it firmly. “Zack Fair. And no worries, thanks for sticking up for me, man.”

Biggs laughed and patted his shoulder. “No problem! Let’s go kill some wererats, huh?”

He showed him round to the back of the building where, sure enough, there was a wererat infestation. He punched Zack’s shoulder. “You got this man,” he said, and gestured to his face. “I’d join you, but I got plans tonight and I can’t risk the merchandise, y’know?”

“Oh, I know,” Zack replied, laughing. “Thanks again, man. See ya!”

“See ya around!”

And with that, Zack got to work. Having a sword again felt  _ good,  _ even if it wasn’t his old one. It was just as heavy and felt almost exactly the same when he swung it, which was also good. He didn’t want to waste time having to learn how to use a new weapon all over again. When he was done, he went back to the shop, with the same Best Smile on his face. “All done.”

Frank stared at him. “Already?”

“Yup, go see for yourself.”

He huffed. “Yeah, no thanks. Keep the sword, kid, but I still ain’t givin’ you cash.”

“Fine by me,” Zack said, cheerily. “Have a good one!”

He spent the rest of the day doing odd jobs for anyone offering a reward. He’d made friends with Wymer and the rest of the local watch, including Wedge and Jesse (which, the latter made it very obvious she wasn’t into him), and by the time the sun began to set, he had a hefty pouch of gil hanging from his belt.

Metaphorically, of course. He was not going to make that mistake again.

He decided to spend the last of the afternoon in the laundromat, watching his old SOLDIER uniform swirling round in the washing machine while he snacked on a kebab before he went back home.

“You’re looking very pleased with yourself,” Marle called from her rocking chair when he came back.

“I am,” Zack replied, heading over to her. “Been busy making money, got a new sword, and look! My clothes haven’t been this clean in years!”

Marle nodded slowly, almost warily peering over the plastic bag. “Huh… Well, I suppose that’s good.”

“It is!” he said. “And I haven’t been shot at  _ once!” _

It was at this point Marle began looking alarmed, and began to say something, but a distant explosion cut her off, big enough for the ground to shake beneath their feet.

“Go see what’s going on,” she told Zack. “I’ll turn the news on.”

He nodded and headed out, trying to get a good look at the plate. His jaw clenched when he saw a flicker of flames where a reactor was, but he needed to move if he needed a better view. Luckily enough, there was already a crowd gathering at Seventh Heaven, each and every one of them tilting their heads up and staring at the plate above them. Zack went to join them, eyes wide when he saw what they were staring at.

Mako Reactor 1 was on fire.

Luckily, both Sector 1’s and Sector 8’s plates seemed to be okay (but only structurally, Zack didn’t want to think about how things looked like topside). At the very least, there wasn’t any danger of the sky falling on them. But how could this happen?  _ Why  _ did it happen? 

He drew in a deep breath. He wasn’t going to get any answers just by looking up at the sky. Might as well head back to Marle’s and watch the news together. He pushed his way through the crowd and made his way back to Marle’s apartment, where she stood in the doorway with her arms folded and lips set in a grim line.

“Did you see?” she asked.

Zack nodded. “Yeah. What’s happening?”

Marle turned, beckoning for him to come inside. “Avalanche. They bombed the reactor.”

_ “Avalanche?”  _ he sputtered. “I thought we - I thought Shinra chased them out of Midgar years ago.

“Well, I guess they’re back now,” she replied. “And I’m also guessing they want everyone to know it.”

“Fuck,” he murmured, staring at the news footage. Sector 8 was in chaos, fires starting just as quickly as the fire department could put them out, people running to the streets in fear, debris falling everywhere and making navigation almost impossible. A lot of people were heading for the train station, possibly to take refuge with friends and family in other sectors.

He had to sit down suddenly. It felt too much like the Genesis War.

Marle looked down at him. “Are you okay?”

He nodded absently. “Yeah, I’m… I’m okay. I’m gonna go to bed, Marle. Thanks for having me over,” he said, and got up, only to get bonked on the head with Marle’s newspaper.

“You’re not okay,” she said, firmly. “If you need an ear, I’m willing to lend mine.”

Zack shook his head. “No, I’m - I just need to be alone, okay? I’ll drop by tomorrow morning, if you want.”

He turned to leave and heard Marle call, “I’m holding you to that!” as he shut the front door behind him.

He made an immediate beeline for his apartment, focusing on the sound of his footsteps on metal until he made it to his room, slumping against the door as he closed it behind him. He pressed the butt of his palms to his eyes, hissing, “Come on. Come  _ on _ , Zack. You were in SOLDIER, you’ve seen way worse than this.”

He’d been through bloody battlefields, fought entire armies with nothing but his sword and his fists. He’d been through four years of experimentation from  _ Hojo _ of all people, and survived. He’d been through so much, so why did even  _ thinking _ about the Genesis War make his hands shake and his heart stop?

“Get it together,” he told himself. “You just need some rest.”

He smacked his cheeks and forced in some deep breaths before finally shrugging his harness off and setting his new sword by the bed. He shimmied out of his coat and jeans, tossing them over the bed railing again, and lay down.

Sleep decided it wouldn’t come.

He managed to lie there, staring up at the ceiling for about ten minutes before he got restless. But, determined to fall asleep, he just turned over on his side and stared at the wall. Which worked for five more minutes. At that point he just gave up and sat up, staring at the window. He managed to get lost in his thoughts for about an hour then, before the pins and needles in his legs broke him out of his reverie. He sighed, and decided he might as well get up and move. He pulled his jeans back on, then picked up his sword. Might as well practice.

Except he was at that point where practice really meant nothing if he wasn’t sparring against someone. All his moves were committed to muscle memory, but it felt good to get up and  _ do _ something.

He didn’t know how long he’d been practicing, but he was interrupted when someone pounded on his door. “Hey! Keep it down!”

Oh, right. Other people lived here too.

Zack set down the sword with a quick apology, then turned and hurried over to the door, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry,” he said again, offering an apologetic smile. “Couldn’t sleep - ”

He cut himself off, feeling like all the breath had been knocked out of his lungs. The man in front of him wore a SOLDIER uniform, almost exactly like his, with the Buster Sword on his back. He glowered up at Zack through a shock of spikey blond hair, and his eyes…

They had the same blue-green glow as any SOLDIER, except his pupils were slitted, dilated in the dim light.

Zack stared, any words that he was about to say disappearing within the whirlwind of emotions that swirled in his chest like a hurricane about to break, until he managed to swallow the sudden lump in his throat and choke out one word.

“Cloud?”


	4. Zack Meets Up With Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a long wait! this chapter was originally going to be WAY longer, but i decided to cut it into two to keep the focus. also it was killing me to write. i hope you enjoy! and thank you for all the comments <33 they keep me going

“Cloud?”

And immediately, Zack’s chest filled to the brim with relief. Cloud was _here_ and _alive_ and they were _neighbors!_ He moved to pull him into a hug, but the next thing he knew he was being slammed into the ground, Cloud staring down at him with one hand clutching his head and the other going to the sword on his back.

“Don’t touch me,” he said. “Who the hell are you?”

Oh. Zack’s relief soured into something much, much worse.

He just stared back up at Cloud, unable to come up with the words to reply (partly on account of the wind being knocked out of him – Cloud was so much stronger than he remembered). Eventually, he managed to swallow enough air to choke out, “You don’t remember me?”

Cloud winced, grip tightening on his hair and pupils narrowing into thin slits. “I – No,” he managed, after a moment. “No, I don’t. I’ve never met you in my life.”

Zack pushed himself up to his feet, forcing his mouth into an embarrassed smile as he pretended to get a closer look at Cloud’s face, despite feeling like something deep inside him just broke away. He rubbed at the back of his neck, a shaky laugh escaping him. “Ah, my bad. I thought you were a different Cloud,” he said. “I’m Zack. Your neighbor.” He offered his hand out and added a joking, “Please don’t slam me into the ground again.”

Cloud just snorted, grudgingly taking his hand, and shook it. “Whatever. Don’t try to hug me next time.”

Zack just laughed again, slipping into the façade he’d painted for himself, but only to be startled out of it when someone else poked their head through the door.

“Hello? Is everything okay over here?” Asked Tifa. “I thought I heard banging, and the door’s ope – _you?”_

Zack’s jaw dropped. _“Tifa?!_ You’re here too?”

“You know each other?” Cloud asked, clearly irritated by the whole ordeal.

“I, uh, we’ve bumped into each other, a few years ago,” Tifa stammered, then gave Zack a glare that so obviously meant _play along or I’ll break your bones._

He swallowed, nervously nodding along. “Uh, yeah! Helped her out of a pinch, once. I didn’t know you lived here, Tifa!”

Gods, they were literally so bad at this.

Cloud seemed to soften, but only a little bit, then huffed and stepped away. “Alright,” he said. “Anyways, just keep it down. People are trying to sleep here. Night, Tifa.”

She smiled and made way for him to leave. “Goodnight!” she said. She shut the door behind him before rounding on Zack, hissing, “What the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing wearily at the closed door. “Good to see you too,” he muttered.

“Answer the question,” Tifa growled.

He gestured vaguely. “I showed up last night,” he explained. “Marle took me in, and I’ve been here since. What?”

She had her face in her hands, groaning softly. “Oh my gods, you were the tenant she was telling me about.” She lifted her head, glaring at him. “Where the hell have you _been?_ I thought you died in Nibelheim.”

 _Oh, I was just being experimented on by Hojo for four years. Then I was on the run for another ten months,_ Zack nearly said. Instead, he caught himself and swallowed. “I was… on the run for a while,” he said. Technically, he wasn’t lying, but he didn’t think it was a good idea to tell her the truth from the get-go. “Decided to go AWOL, Shinra chased my ass down because I have classified info, yada yada, and now I’m here.”

Tifa pursed her lips. “And you thought that coming back to Midgar, Shinra’s home base, was a good idea?” she asked.

Ah. Shit. She had a point.

“Uh, I faked my death?” he offered.

She stared at him, unconvinced. “You faked your death.”

“Mmhmm. In Gongaga. In front of my, uh, parents. Super convincing.”

She drew in a deep breath and rubbed her face. “Okay,” she said. “Let me get one thing straight with you right now. It is _way_ too late to think about how bullshit all of that is, and I am not bothered to get you to talk the hard way. And until you do, you are not allowed in my bar, okay?”

Zack decided not to point out how those were three things, instead just swallowing and nodding. “Okay.”

Tifa drew back, sighing as she turned to leave. “Good. Don’t stir up any more trouble, please. I’m going to bed.”

“Wait, Tifa – I – “ He bit on his lip, looking away. “For what it’s worth, I’m – I am sorry about Nibelheim. I did try to kill him – Sephiroth, I mean.”

She stopped on the way out but didn’t look at him. “I’m sorry too.”

And with that, she was gone, and Zack was alone.

***

Zack woke up to Marle dragging the sheets off him that morning.

“Honestly!” she was grumbling. “For a military boy, you have an awful sleep schedule. I hate young men! The absolute disrespect!”

He wasn’t exactly listening, because he was in his boxers and Marle had exposed his very scarred legs to the world and was too busy scrambling to pull the sheets back on.

“Good morning to you too, Marle!” he said, breathless and face red. “What’s the problem?”

She folded her arms, glaring down at him. “It’s ten minutes past ten and you’re still in bed!” she replied, then gestured to the wall on the other side of the room. “Honestly, even the new boy next door had enough manners to meet up with Tifa at the bar.”

Zack suppressed the urge to groan and shove his face into his pillow. Cloud was here. In the room right next to his. And infinitely way more fucked up than Zack could imagine. And on top of that, Tifa still hated him, and banned him from the bar.

Well, until he’d talk, he reminded himself. But that meant pretty much never. He might as well just resign himself to never getting a drink ever again.

And then Marle hit him on the head with her newspaper roll. (Did she have a hidden holster for it or something?)

“Come on,” she said. “Up.”

At that point, Zack _did_ groan, but in the playful, you’re-not-my-mom way, and sat up. “Alright, I’m up,” he conceded. “Gimme a few minutes to get ready and I’ll be down, okay?”

“Alright,” Marle huffed. “You have ten.”

Then she left, finally leaving Zack to breathe. He took a moment to think over the events of last night, then grimaced and reminded himself he was supposed to be getting ready. He was pretty sure Marle was going to actually kill him, so he got to getting ready.

She was sitting at her rocking chair by the time he came down, looking a little less grumpy. “You’re a minute late,” she said, looking down at her watch.

“Uh,” he offered, eloquently. “Oops?”

Marle just sighed and got up. “Come on,” she said. “We’re going down to Seventh Heaven. They have really good breakfasts.”

Before Zack could tell her that he couldn’t go because Tifa had banned him, Marle was up on her feet and off, leaving him behind to flounder for an excuse for a moment before he just gave up and caught up with her. This was absolutely going to blow up in his face.

The restaurant was mostly empty by the time they arrived, aside from a few people having their own late breakfasts, and Cloud sitting at the bar, looking very unhappy with whatever Tifa was talking about.

“I’m not a salesman, Tifa, I’m a SOLDIER,” he was saying.

Marle snorted and folded her arms. “Good thing too, considering you have neither the wit nor the charisma for it,” she said.

Tifa muffled a laugh with her fist, looking away, and for a moment, Zack felt like maybe, just maybe, he _wouldn’t_ come to regret this.

And then she looked at him, and he fought a flinch when he saw her fist tighten.

“I thought I told you that you’re not allowed in here,” she said.

“He’s with me,” Marle said, and calmly took a seat at a table. “I wanted to show him what the menu had to offer. I hope you don’t mind.”

Tifa looked like she very did mind, and by extension, so did Cloud (who was glaring daggers at Zack, which he pretended to very much not see) but she eventually just drew in a deep breath and said, “Fine. But only this once, Marle. What’ll it be?”

“I’ll have an omurice and black coffee,” she said without even looking at the menu. She passed the laminated pamphlet to Zack as he sat down. “And you?”

He looked over the menu, trying not to visibly sweat bullets. Compared to most SOLDIERs, he would like to think of himself as very competent at handling civilian settings. But this civilian setting involved the woman whose village he couldn’t save from being burned down by a former-war-hero-gone-crazy, who seemed ready to beat him up at a moment’s notice, his amnesiac best friend who also seemed ready to beat him up at a moment’s notice, and his landlord.

“I’ll, uh, um, same.”

He hated black coffee.

Tifa was already heading over to the stove. “Coming right up. Cloud, you’re saved. For the next twenty minutes, at least.”

“Whoo, lucky me.”

The next few minutes passed in relative silence, save for the quiet chatter of the other patrons. After a couple minutes of trying to pretend that he couldn’t feel Cloud’s stare drilling holes into the side of his head, Zack finally gave up and met his gaze with an easy-going smile. “What’s up, man?”

Cloud waited until the last customer left before finally answering. “You have SOLDIER eyes,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

Zack shrugged. “I could ask you the same.”

“I’m done with Shinra,” he said, looking away and folding his arms. “I’m just a merc now.”

Something twisted in Zack’s chest. Even if he didn’t remember him, at least Cloud still carried his legacy. He smiled again. “Me too. Maybe we should partner up sometime. We’d make a great team, I think.”

Cloud just scoffed. “For a price.”

Tifa suddenly placed their food and drinks on the table. “Here you go,” she said, not looking at Zack. “Enjoy.”

Still, he offered a grateful smile. “Thanks, Tifa.”

To that, she didn’t respond, instead returning to her conversation with Cloud while Zack and Marle had their breakfast. He stared mournfully down at his coffee, then decided to just bite the bullet and drink it, even though the bitterness made him want to vomit. Still, the omurice itself was _really_ good, and definitely worth having to suffer through straight black coffee. He was already digging through his gil pouch by the time Tifa came back with the bill. He wasn’t going to let Marle have this one, and besides, he at least owed it to Tifa.

“The food was really good,” he said, giving her the money alongside a good tip. “Thank you.”

There was a moment where Tifa just stared down at the amount of gil he’d just given her, then nodded slightly, expression hardening again. “Yeah, uh. No problem? Thanks for the tip. We’re going to lock up the bar for the rest of the day now, so I need you guys to leave.”

“Oh, are you delivering those filters?” Marle asked.

She nodded and picked up their dirty dishes. “Yeah. Actually, do you want to wait so you can pay yours off right away? And then Cloud and I can go and set them up ourselves.”

Marle hummed. “You can take Zack with you,” she said. “Show him how to do it.”

“Uh – “ Zack began but Tifa cut him off.

“Actually, that’s a good idea, Marle!” She said, with a smile Zack found that he didn’t like. “Both of you hang on for a while, I’ll be back after a bit.”

When she disappeared behind the counter, he slumped in his seat, releasing a quiet groan. “Marle, _why?”_

“You seem to have issues,” Marle said, innocently. “I’m just giving you an opportunity to talk.”

“More like an opportunity for her to kick my ass,” he grumbled, glancing over at Cloud, who was fiddling with his chopsticks while Tifa loaded the dishwasher and cashed up. He fought a sigh. When he imagined seeing Cloud awake, it wasn’t like this.

Marle seemed to have caught on. “You know him?” she asked.

Zack just shrugged. “I don’t think I do anymore.”

A heavy silence hung in the air between them until Tifa called Marle over to the register. Zack closed his eyes and tried to get himself together in anticipation for the day ahead of him. Hopefully Tifa would cut him some slack and leave him at his room. When he opened his eyes again, Cloud was standing over him.

“Come on,” he said. “We’re going.”

“Right,” Zack muttered, and got to his feet.

Marle bade Tifa goodbye, cupping her face with a hand and squishing her cheek in the process, before planting a big kiss on her cheek. “I’d tell you to be careful, but I think you’ll be okay what with the two ex-SOLDIERs with giant swords following you around,” she joked.

Tifa, face red, pulled away and shot Zack a glare when he snorted. “Thank you Marle. Get home safe, okay?”

“Oh, I’m not going home,” Marle said, chuckling. “I’m meeting up with Mireille. Apparently, there’s a lot of gossip she needs to catch me up on. I’ll see you tonight! Keep these boys from doing anything stupid!”

And with that, she was gone, and Tifa scrubbed the lipstick stain off her cheek with a dish towel. “Anyways,” she said. “Let’s go.”

"Is she always like that?" asked Cloud.

Zack found himself having to look away when he heard that same, soft chuckle - the one he'd heard a million times whenever they cracked jokes together. That was a whole lifetime ago, now.

 _Stop reminiscing,_ he told himself. _You’re just making things way more painful than they need to be._

 _“All_ the time,” Tifa groaned. “I think she’s made it her mission to embarrass me in front of everyone. But it’s nice, I guess. She’s been there for me since Nibel – since I came here, five years ago.”

Zack grimaced. The change in atmosphere was almost tangible. He cleared his throat. “So, these filters,” he said. “What do they do? I missed that conversation.”

She gave him a side-eye, blowing air out through her nose. “They’re water filters we make using scrap parts. Since the water filtration system down here isn’t… up to code, we take matters into our own hands,” she explained. “The folks here love them, and it makes for easy money.”

He whistled. “Whoa, and you got enough supplies for ‘em?”

She nodded, gesturing to the gates being guarded by two of Shinra’s infantrymen. Zack immediately ducked his head and hid his face from them with his elbow as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“With Shinra using the slums as their own personal dumping grounds, you never really run out of scrap to repurpose,” she was saying. “You need to be crafty if you wanna survive down here.”

Cloud snorted. “Another lesson for life on the ground floor?”

“Absolutely.”

When they reached the apartments, Tifa handed Cloud a filter and told him to install his while she showed Zack with hers. He nodded, and Tifa beckoned for Zack to follow her into her room.

He swallowed. Here goes.

Tifa’s room was just like his, except the layout was mirrored and hers actually looked like it had someone living in it for the past five years. In addition to the standard furniture Marle provided, she had a desk, a coat stand where she hung a red purse, and a punching bag hung from the ceiling.

Zack shut the door behind him, and she immediately grabbed him by the collar, pulling him down to her level. “You have one last chance before I knock your teeth out,” she threatened. _“Talk.”_

He held his hands up. “Okay, okay!” he said, then sighed. “Look, I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve been on the run from Shinra. And that they think I’m dead.”

“So why were you lying to me?” she asked. “Because I’m very sure you didn’t fake your death in Gongaga in front of your parents.”

Zack burst out laughing despite himself, but immediately cut himself off with a cough when Tifa’s grip on his collar tightened. “Oh, uh, um,” he stuttered. Maybe she would take half the whole story. “Sephiroth messed me up really bad at Nibelheim, and I was… detained, for a while.”

He drew in a deep breath, running hand through his hair. “I broke out a few years later,” he continued. “And then I was on the run, and then I came here.”

“That doesn’t explain why they think you’re dead,” Tifa said.

He nodded, looking down. “Yeah, they, uh, shot me a while ago,” he said, and pulled up his shirt to show a few of the many scars riddling his torso. The planet may have brought him back to life, but it left him with the scars. A reminder of his failure.

“Oh…” Tifa murmured, and finally released her grip on him. “How did you survive?”

He shrugged, tugging his shirt back down. “I had Curaga on me. Just kept on casting it to keep me on my feet long enough to find shelter.”

“And Shinra has no idea you’re still alive?” she asked

He shook his head. “Nope, not as far as I know.” _Which should be good enough, considering I was dead up until only two days ago,_ he added, silently. Out loud, he said, “So, the filter? Pretty sure Cloud’s gonna get suspicious if we stay here for too long.”

Tifa’s eyes widened. “Oh! Right. Yeah. The filter. Okay, so you just have to put in like so…”

It only took a couple minutes for her to install it, even while explaining what she was doing to Zack. She talked about how she’d have to do the same sort of thing in Nibelheim, since they got their water from a local river that the reactor used to pollute, except their filters were Shinra issued and only managed to do their jobs for a month before needing to be replaced.

He nodded along sympathetically. The same thing happened in Gongaga, except the locals set up their own water distillation systems when Shinra packed up and pulled out after the reactor exploded.

She handed him his filter and went to open the door. “I can trust you can do it yourself without me, right?” she asked, then offered him a small, hesitant smile.

Zack beamed in return. “Absolutely,” he agreed. “Leave it to me!”

It took him only a minute to get it installed, and when he came back out, Cloud and Tifa were talking again.

“You can get people talking about you by doing little jobs here and there,” she was saying. “Building connections. We can talk to the neighborhood watch too, if you want. It’s not what you know, but _who_ you know, y’know?”

“Oh, you mean Wymer and the others?” Zack butt in. “I’m sure he’ll have some jobs for you, I managed to wrack up a ton of money yesterday because of him.”

Tifa and Cloud just stared at him.

He laughed, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “What? I needed the money.”

“Aaaanyways,” Tifa continued, giving him a look. “Yes, Wymer. We can go talk to him after delivering the rest of the filters.”

Cloud nodded. “Alright, sounds good.”

She turned to Zack. “We’ll be heading off now,” she said, then hesitated for a moment before adding, “And, uh, you’re allowed back in the bar now.”

He managed a laugh. “Thanks,” he replied, and waved. “Have fun you two!”

Cloud just rolled his eyes, grumbling something about how he ‘didn’t see how being a glorified salesman was supposed to be fun’, and started heading down the stairs. Tifa waved back, bidding Zack goodbye, and followed him down. Zack, in turn, retreated back into his room.

Only when the door was firmly shut behind him did he finally deflate, releasing a heavy sigh as he pressed his forehead to the cool metal.

What was wrong with him? He was safe, he had a roof over his head, a sword on his back, and Cloud was up and kicking. Even Tifa was okay and seemed to not actually hate him. That was good, right?

He sighed. “Of course it’s not okay,” he muttered. “Cloud doesn’t even remember me. I don’t know what to do with my life. Why couldn’t I have just stayed dead?”

Maybe he should visit Aerith and apologizing for disappearing for so long. He still had her last letter with him, and if there was anyone in the world he could tell the truth of what happened to him, it was her.

But how would he even see her? Just go up to her and go, “Hey, Aerith! Sorry I dropped off the face of the planet for a full five years! Can I kiss you now?” Would she even still _be_ in the Sector 5 slums? Would she still even be at the _church_?

He sank to the floor with a sigh, turning over to sit with his back against the door. He was such a mess. He at least owed it to Aerith to show up with his shit together.

“Angeal,” he murmured. “What do I do?”

_You do realize that he can’t answer, right?_

Zack immediately shot to his feet, hand going to his sword. “Who’s there?”

“Really, Zack,” said the voice, as the person it belonged to stepped into the lamplight from seemingly out of thin air. “I thought you would recognize me.”

Zack froze, breath catching in his throat. “Sephiroth,” he breathed.

Sephiroth smirked and took another step forward. “After all this time, I thought you would be happy to see me,” he said. “You’ve gotten taller.”

Zack sputtered for a reply, now backed up against the door with his sword in his hand. “What – _Ho_ w – How are you he – _here?_ I thought – I thought you died.”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Sephiroth sighed, but in a way that meant that he actually found that extremely amusing. “Why are you so scared, Zack? I’m not going to hurt you.”

It took him a moment, but despite his fear, Zack realized that above everything else, he was _angry._ Angry that everyone he looked up to just gave up and handed off the responsibility to him, angry that so many people died when he could have done better – could have _been_ better, angry that Sephiroth just decided to show up and act like nothing happened, even though _he_ was the reason why Hojo locked him up in a laboratory for four years.

“So what _do_ you want?” he spat, grip tightening around his sword. “Why are you here?”

“Someone’s feisty,” Sephiroth chided, and sat down on Zack’s bed as though making himself at home at a friend’s house. Zack almost yelled at him to get off but thought the better of it. “I only wanted to drop in on an old friend. I see you’ve given Angeal’s sword to our dearest Cloud.”

“That’s none of your fucking business,” Zack snapped. “Why are you _really_ here, Sephiroth?”

“Would I lie to you?”

Zack hesitated, even though the small, reasonable part of him yelled, _Yes! You burned down and killed an entire village! Of course you would fucking lie to me!_

He released a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Sephiroth didn’t reply, expression unreadable now.

Zack felt his jaw set. “You just decided you would just, what, drop in on your former fellow First Class SOLDIER who you busted up five years ago?” he asked. “Are you even real? Am I seriously that messed up I’m just making you up?”

“Maybe you are. Maybe you aren’t, and I’m real. Who’s to say?” Sephiroth asked.

“You,” Zack replied, dryly.

Sephiroth chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down his spine. “True. But I won’t, for now.” He got up, dusting himself off. “It was good to see you, Zack, but I think I shall be going now.”

“Wait! Wait, Sephiroth – “

But Zack blinked, and he was gone.

He blew out a sigh, shoulders slumping. The sword slipped out of his grip and fell to the floor with a _clang_ , but he was too tired to pick it back up. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m losing it,” he muttered to himself. “I am actually losing my mind.”

Deciding to file the whole event away for processing later, Zack decided instead to focus on something else. Like taking a shower in water that didn’t smell like rotten eggs.


	5. Zack Becomes An Anticapitalist Ally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here she is!! i had to really fight this chapter at some parts and at some point i scrapped an entire chunk of writing, but i'm really happy with how it came out! i hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> as always, thank you so much for all your comments and support! they really mean a lot to me and put a big dumb smile on my face every single time

By the time Cloud and Tifa finally got back to the bar, it was already late afternoon.

“Barret should be back with the rest of your payment,” Tifa was saying as she unlocked the front door. “And if he isn’t, I’ll treat you to a drink, made by yours truly.”

Cloud frowned slightly. “Tifa…”

“Yeah, I’m… feeling it a bit too,” she admitted, rubbing her arm. “Hey, do you think you’ll stick around a little longer?”

Cloud sighed. “Maybe. Work for a minute, build up some savings… But, for now, I just want my money.”

Tifa immediately perked up with a smile. “I see,” she replied. “In that case, let’s go.”

She led him back in, and sure enough, Barret wasn’t there. Not that he minded; the less time spent with Barret calling him a literal fucking baby, the better. Not that he was bitter or anything.

He took a seat at the bar while Tifa pulled on an apron and slipped her gloves off. “So, what’ll it be?” she asked.

Humming, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the bar. “Something bitter and hard.”

She whistled. “Not a lot of people would go for that right about now,” she chuckled, “but coming right up.”

As she worked, it suddenly struck Cloud that he’d never really seen her as at ease and relaxed as she was while she made food or mixed drinks, moving in time to the jukebox that played softly in the corner. Even back when they were kids, she always had that cloud of grief hanging over her. By the time she slid the drink over to him, even Cloud found himself softening up.

Downing the whole thing in one gulp and setting the empty glass down on the counter, he gave her a small smile. “Beautiful,” he said.

Tifa laughed and plucked the glass up to wash. “I’m glad you think so,” she said. “How about you try the house special? We call it the Cosmo Canyon.”

“Like the place?” Cloud asked.

She nodded and got back to work. “Yep!”

Just as she slid the next drink to him, Barret walked in through the door, Marlene following close behind. He looked at Tifa. “Meeting in ten,” he grunted, and made his way over to one of the pinball machines. He pulled a lever, and the space of floor he was on sank into their underground hideout.

“Hey, Marlene?” Tifa asked. “Why don’t you wait for Jesse outside?”

As if sensing the strange atmosphere settling in the bar, Marlene nodded and skipped back out with an all-too-cheery “Okay!”

Tifa sighed and took off her apron. “I’ll be back soon,” she promised, heading over to the pinball machine as it came back up before disappearing back down again.

Cloud sighed too, turning his attention back to his glass. He probably shouldn’t drink it, considering it was only getting on to five in the afternoon and even though he’d been _told_ that it would be harder for him to get drunk with the mako-enhanced biological functions and all, he still remembered how easy it was for him to get drunk back when he was still in the infantry. But then again, he was literally a teenager back then.

Still, Tifa made it for him. She wasn’t even charging him for it.

It was only a shot, he thought. Two shots and a mako liver should probably be okay.

He leaned back to take it when Marlene came back in and tugged on Cloud’s arm. “My daddy doesn’t like you,” she admitted. “But you’re the only grown-up up here and a weird man with a mullet keeps trying to talk to me.”

Normally, he probably would just have shaken her off and told her to talk to somebody else, but _gods_ she was so cute. He sighed again and got up. “Alright,” he said. “Just stay here while I take care of it.”

And sure enough, when he went out to go tell whoever was outside to fuck off, there was Zack, looking extremely sheepish. He blinked when he realized it was Cloud that had come out, then put on that wide smile that made him want to punch him. “Oh, hey Cloud,” he said. “What’s up?”

“Why are you talking to random kids?” Cloud asked, unimpressed. “Didn’t take you for that kind of guy.”

He had to admit, the way Zack’s eyes went so wide that they looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets was almost funny. Almost.

 _“What?_ No! It wasn’t like that!” he sputtered. “Look – the kid was just – she was just standing there! And I thought, ‘Oh shit! This kid might be lost!’ I didn’t think she’d just – I dunno – go in!”

Cloud fought a snort. “Of course she’d go in. She lives here.”

“Well – I didn’t know _that!”_

“Aw, I didn’t know you boys knew each other!” Jessie butt in, skipping up the stairs with Biggs and Wedge in tow. “Are you SOLDIER buddies? Having a lover’s quarrel, are we?”

Cloud immediately turned away to head back into the bar and tried to ignore how red his cheeks felt. “Barret’s waiting for you downstairs.”

“Aww,” Jesse whined. “Did I make you mad? It was a joke, I promise!”

He just ignored her, heading back into the bar and taking his seat again on the barstool, staring down at his drink while he listened in on the conversation behind him. It was mostly Zack talking, saying that he saw a bunch of Avalanche posters hung around town and outside of the bar and wanted to know if he could talk to the leader.

 _Good luck with that,_ Cloud thought bitterly to himself, swirling the red liquid in his glass.

Eventually, after everyone descended into the hideout, he sighed and got up. Might as well look around to try and distract himself from the conversation downstairs. The floorboards muffled everyone’s voices, but if Cloud focused he could pick out a word here and there, but he wasn’t exactly interested in listening in on whatever harebrained scheme they were bound to make up to fuck Shinra over.

“You look sad,” Marlene said, suddenly, was peering up at him from the other side of the counter.

Oh, right. She hadn’t gone down with them.

“I’m not sad,” Cloud said. “I’m tired.”

“Then go to sleep!”

He turned away. He really did not have the patience for this. “It’s not that kind of tired, kid.”

Spotting a dartboard in the corner next to the jukebox, Cloud decided to end the conversation by looking over at the scoreboard. Unfortunately, it seemed that Marlene didn’t get the memo, because when he glanced back at the bar to make sure she _stayed_ at the bar, she was standing right next to him and looking up at him with those giant brown eyes of hers.

At first, he tried to ignore it, instead focusing on beating Wedge’s high score, but when he missed the bull’s eye for the third time in a row, he finally groaned and looked back at her. “You do realize that your dad’s going to get mad at me for talking to you again, right?” he asked

“He won’t get mad if I tell him not to,” Marlene said, simply. “I can ask really nicely!”

Cloud doubted that would be the case. He _could_ just escape while Barret was distracted if Marlene really did go ahead and ask him, but he knew the look Tifa would give him if he did. He just sighed and shrugged, collecting his darts from the board and returning them to the little box that was nailed into the wall beneath them. “Yeah, whatever. Why _do_ you wanna talk to me anyway? Don’t you have friends to play with?” he asked

Marlene hummed and clambered onto a nearby chair. “Yup!” she said. “But you looked sad and I wanna help!”

Cloud had to keep himself from snapping at her to leave him alone. The last thing he needed was a crying kid on his hands. “Look, kid, this isn’t the kind of thing you can help with, okay? And I’m not sad.”

“Then why do you look at Auntie Tifa the same way Mister Smalls looks at Uncle Wedge when he leaves?” she asked.

“I have no idea who that is.”

Marlene gave him a big grin. “He’s a cat!”

It was at that point Cloud decided he really needed that drink as soon as possible.

Thankfully, Tifa came back up before Marlene could say anything else, but whatever relief Cloud felt was gone the second he saw the strained, upset look on her face. She looked over at Marlene and managed a small smile, but even Cloud could see she was fighting tears.

“Hey, Marlene?” she asked. “Why don’t you go out and play with Betty? She was asking about you earlier.”

“Okay! See you, Auntie Tifa!” Marlene said, and without another word, left.

Tifa heaved a heavy sigh and went to pour herself some water before finally collapsing into a bar stool. Hesitating for only just a second, Cloud went to sit beside her. “…You okay?”

“Yeah,” she murmured. “Just… I know we have to think big if we’re going to make a difference, but… not like this. I just…”

She looked up, staring at the _Egg & Chips_ sign hung up on the wall. “I feel trapped.”

“If it feels wrong, don’t do it,” he said, then paused, trying to think of something else to say, but the sound of the pinball machine going down cut him off. One by one, everyone filed back out into the bar. Barret was the first, patting Tifa on the shoulder. He could hear Biggs and Wedge talking in the back, and Zack laughing with them.

Cloud’s stomach twisted, but he didn’t know why.

“Tifa! Time to celebrate! Break out all the good stuff,” Barret said, then turned to Cloud, his smile dropping instantly. “We won’t be needing you for this next job. Feel free to look for work elsewhere.”

Cloud just scoffed. “Fine by me. That’s how I like it. No contract, no obligation.”

“Figured you’d say that,” Barret grunted, and dropped a pouch onto the counter beside Cloud. “Here’s the rest of your payment, along with a little something for your exemplary service.” He looked away, adjusting his sunglasses (even though wearing sunglasses indoors was a stupid thing to do and had no real use other than making you look like the world’s biggest douchebag, Cloud thought.) “And thus concludes our business. Gonna have to ask you to leave now, this here’s a private affair.”

Cloud nodded while Zack laughed again at something Biggs said. A joke, or something. Not like he cared. He wasn’t paying attention.

Jessie came over just as Barret left, fiddling with her thumbs. “Sorry, I tried,” she admitted. “In the end… we didn’t want to put so much on you. This is our fight, but no hard feelings, right?”

“It’s fine,” Cloud said just as Biggs went, “Jessie! What’s the hold-up?”

She smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “Let’s talk more later, okay?”

“Really, it’s fine,” he insisted.

“Jessie, come on!” Wedge called, slamming the table. “I’m dying’ here!”

She sighed. “I’ll catch you later,” she said, then returned to her seat with the rest of them. “Sorry to keep you thirsty boys waiting!”

 _Whatever,_ Cloud told himself as he got up. He didn’t care, these people weren’t his friends and he didn’t _need_ friends. Just like how he didn’t need Zack to look at him with that apologetic smile as he raised his bottle with the others in a toast to Avalanche.

Blood boiling, Cloud glared back at him, and left.

***

Zack might have fucked up.

He’d originally thought he’d join Avalanche as some sort of dramatic irony, or something, but when he saw the look on Tifa’s face when she started arguing with Barret over the reactor bombings (which he also had a lot of issues with, but he reminded himself that Shinra had done much worse just because they could), coupled with the weird looks she was giving him every five seconds, he was beginning to get second thoughts.

And then he saw the way Cloud just glared at him on his way out the door while the rest of them were celebrating without him… Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

But what was he supposed to do? Just sit there in the slums, doing pest control for the residents? It was a good way to keep him moving, but Zack knew he would get bored with it at some point. He had to _do_ something, he needed direction, otherwise he was sure he’d just lose his mind staying put.

He wasn’t planning on staying in Midgar for long, anyway. The only reason why he came in the first place was because he’d promised Aerith he’d see her again, and he couldn’t even do that – he had literally died trying. He also figured that there was probably someone in Midgar that could help Cloud, but Cloud was back on his feet with a healthy dose of amnesia and hating Zack for what felt like no reason.

~~Of course, Zack~~ _~~did~~ _ ~~know the reason. But he was too afraid to admit it to himself.~~

Everything was changing, moving so fast that he could barely keep up, if at all. Maybe he should just stop trying and go wherever life took him without thinking too much about it.

That evening after the toast, Tifa had cleared them all out (save for Barret, who was working the shift with her) to reopen the bar for the night, Zack wandered around the town for a little while before going back home. He thought that maybe walking would clear his head, but apparently it did nothing, as evident by the fact that he hadn’t realized Biggs and Wedge were standing right outside his door until Biggs waved his hand over Zack’s face.

“Hey, newbie, you even listening?” he asked.

Zack blinked. “Uh, yes?” he offered.

“Jeez,” Biggs groaned. “You’re acting just as weird as Jessie, and we’re supposed to be doing this to _help_ her.”

He just stared at him, trying to fill in whatever blanks he just missed. “…I’m sorry?” he said. “Sure I’m in, just. What are we doing, though?”

“Jessie’s been acting super weird since she talked to Cloud at the bar,” Wedge explained. “We _think_ that she’s just going to visit her parents up on the plate again, but we wouldn’t be surprised if this turns out to be one of her big stunts again. Which it most likely will be.”

“Think of it as an initiation,” Biggs added. “A hazing, without the weird creepy shit high schoolers do.”

Zack nodded slowly, turning the idea over in his head. Then he shrugged and smiled. “Sure, why not?”

Biggs grinned back. “Awesome. Meet us at the scrap factory at six.” He patted Wedge’s shoulder and jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. “C’mon, big guy. We got some prep to do.”

And they left, leaving Zack to wonder what the hell he agreed to.

That evening, Zack changed back into his SOLDIER gear before heading out to meet them. It was a little conspicuous, especially if they were heading topside, but if they were going to get into a combat situation (and if Zack’s suspicions were correct, then there would be multiple), he decided he’d rather be wearing something he knew he could fight in.

He made his way down the factory, skirting past the guards on shift (gods forbid he get recognized) and found Wedge standing at the gate, whistling innocently.

“You realize that you’re making yourself look really suspicious like that, right?” he asked, grinning.

Wedge just shrugged, smiling back. “Probably, but at least I’d make for a good distraction,” he replied. “Good to see you made it, bro.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, _bro_.”

Much to Zack’s delight, he realized Wedge was blushing, but before he could tease him about it Biggs put a hand on his shoulder. “C’mon,” he said. “I got the IDs and the bikes ready.”

It was at this point Zack realized that he should probably ask what they were doing and why they were going to use motorbikes to get to the top of the plate rather than the trains. “So what’s the plan? What are we doing?”

“Jessie’s probably heading to her parent’s house in the suburbs. Her dad used to work at Shinra, so she might be going to steal his ID or something,” Biggs explained. “I don’t think she thought of transport though, considering that she probably made this plan up like three hours ago.”

“She does that a lot,” Wedge added.

Biggs laughed. “Yeah, so, as usual, we’re stepping up to help. And you’re coming along, newbie. You’re one of us now.”

Zack nodded, unable to help the big dumb smile he knew was spreading across his face. He’d only known these people for, what, three? Four hours? And he felt way more at home here than in all the time he spent in SOLDIER. Granted, most of the Firsts were almost a whole decade older than him, and since he tagged along with Angeal for most missions he never really spent that much time with the Seconds other than Kunsel and Luxiere (who was always a little weird with him, anyways). Still, it… felt good, to be part of a team again.

“You look like a giant puppy when you smile like that, did anyone ever tell you that?” Biggs asked.

He shrugged. “Once or twice.”

“Good, so it’s common knowledge then,” Biggs laughed, then pulled a tarp off to reveal three bikes in mint condition. “They ain’t nothing special, but they’ll get the job done and then some, so…”

But Zack wasn’t listening, too busy fawning over the bikes in question. They weren’t Harley Daytonas, but they looked good enough to handle the journey, and if they were lucky, combat. He ran his hand over the handlebars. “Where did you get these?” he asked.

“Oh, I knew a guy who knew a guy,” Biggs said, waving a hand. “Come on, we’ll miss them if we stay here for any longer.”

Each one of them took a bike and made their way to the train station. The last time Zack had been on a motorbike could easily be half a year ago, running from Shinra and Genesis and trying to keep Cloud alive. He tried to ignore the way his stomach knotted at the mere memory of it; he’d been on the run for so long the fear of being watched was almost like second nature, even though, logically, Shinra was done with him. The military had neutralized him like they were supposed to and left him and Cloud to die in the Wasteland. There wouldn’t be any reason for Zack to be in trouble, just as long as no one from Shinra recognized him.

Drawing in a deep breath, Zack shook his head to clear it. If there was no reason for him to be scared for his life, then he shouldn’t be. The only thing he should be afraid of was just making things worse between him and Cloud.

They got to the station just as Cloud and Jessie arrived. “Tough break,” Biggs said, a lopsided grin on his lips. “They changed the times – last train’s already left. Which is _why_ – “ He gestured to himself, Wedge and Zack “ – we borrowed these bikes. Need a lift to the plate?”

 _Smooth,_ thought Zack.

“How did you guess?” Jessie asked.

“Easy,” Wedge said. “You’ve been acting weird, like, when you do that thing where you talk about one thing when you’re obviously thinking about something else.”

“Yeah, and don’t get me started on all that pep,” Biggs groaned. “Way over the top, even for you, Jess.”

Jessie huffed, crossing her arms. “Alright, I’ll give you that, but how did you know I was heading topside?” Her eyes widened. “Was I talking in my sleep – what else did I say?”

“No, no – We just figured you wanted to see your parents, is all,” Wedge laughed.

Zack frowned. “But I thought you said – “ he began, but Biggs covered his mouth with a hand, giving Jesse a thumbs up with the other.

“Uh, nothing!” he said, quickly. “Nailed it, huh?”

Jessie squinted, leaning forward before huffing again. “Yup! Right on the head.”

“So,” Biggs continued and took his hand off Zack’s mouth. “Seeing as we don’t have any family of our own… how about you let us be a part of yours for a bit? You know, spread the wealth.”

Sighing, Jessie just nodded. “Alright, fine,” she said, then turned to Cloud. “Are your parents still around?”

Zack’s stomach clenched, and he found himself bracing himself for Cloud’s reaction. But instead of whatever Zack was expecting (which he realized even he didn’t know), Cloud just shook his head and looked away. “No.”

Jesse turned to him, then. “What about you, Zack?”

Ah, fuck.

He gestured vaguely, looking away. “They’re… I don’t know. Last I heard, they were doing fine. I can’t really go and see them, though.”

Biggs punched his shoulder. “That’s alright. I’m sure you’ll see ‘em soon,” he reassured.

“Alright, then,” Jesse said, with a wide grin. “I guess you’re all invited! Here’s to awkward family reunions!”

And with that, they split the bikes off between the five of them. Biggs and Wedge took one, with Jessie insisting she take another with Cloud, since she was hiring him and all (a likely story, but no one said anything), which left Zack by himself on the third. He didn’t mind, though. It meant he could take more risks without worrying about someone falling off, and with the huffy look on Cloud’s face, he guessed that he was annoyed by the same exact thing.

“Aw, don’t look so glum,” he teased. “I’m sure Jessie’ll hold real tight.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Cloud muttered, without even so much as a glance back at him.

Ouch.

Jessie must have sensed the oncoming awkwardness, because she stood up and asked, “I take it you boys have your brand-spanking-new IDs?”

Biggs and Wedge saluted her. “Yes, ma’am!”

“Alright!” she announced with a grin. “Then let’s go lay down some rubber!”

The journey started off well enough. It didn’t take long for Zack to see just how much the bikes could stand his very cool and flashy tricks, and he couldn’t help but feel good whenever Wedge or Biggs would cheer after him. It wasn’t only until after the ID scan things started getting messy.

“Zack, Biggs!” Cloud yelled over the sound of activating Slug Rays. “Deal with them!”

Oh, this felt _so_ good, Zack realized as he took down various bots and infantrymen (the latter a little less lethally, he had to admit). It may have been petty, but he couldn’t deny the little thrill he felt in his gut as he fought against the very company that made his life a literal living hell for years on end.

And then they sent a SOLDIER after them.

It wasn’t anyone Zack knew – he must have been recruited during his… absent years, and despite Zack and Cloud both wearing their own SOLDIER uniforms, he didn’t seem to recognize them, either. At the very least, he seemed far more interested in laughing maniacally and doing crazy, fancy tricks while spouting bullshit about “becoming one with your bike” which led Zack to think that he probably had a fetish, or something.

He wore a Third Class uniform but he wasn’t part of a squad or anything, and didn’t wear the mandatory helmet, so Zack guessed he was probably the reckless loner kind. Which meant he would be easy to head off and trip up if he got cocky. The only issue was that it would take a while to get his moves down well enough to anticipate them. And he seemed to be targeting Cloud and Jessie, attacking anyone who got too close, be it the troopers or the bots.

Weird, but Zack could deal.

“Come, now!” he was saying as he smacked an infantryman off their bike. “Let us dance to the beat of each other’s hearts!”

Ah, so he was _that_ type.

Well, Zack wasn’t going to let him ruin Avalanche’s Night Out. He cut in between him and Cloud, grinning and sword ready. “Sorry to cut in, but you wouldn’t mind if I took this dance?” he asked.

The SOLDIER barked out a laugh. “Presumptuous! But, I suppose you will do, even if you do lack the grace and elegance of our fine blonde friend over here.”

“I’m not your friend,” Cloud spat.

Zack just winked at him. “You’re welcome,” he said, and peeled away to chase after the SOLDIER.

They chased each other up the walls of the tunnels, firing and dodging magical attacks and trading blows. Zack’s priority was keeping him away from the rest, which he thought he was doing pretty well (aside from the occasional angry fireball from Cloud, which Zack took as a warning that he was slipping), but he couldn’t but help but enjoy fighting against someone like another SOLDIER, and from the sound of his laughter, he enjoyed fighting Zack too.

“Zack, we’re running out of track!” Biggs warned. “Mind finishing up with him soon?”

He heard Cloud groan behind him. “This is a waste of time! Jesse, take the wheel.”

The next thing Zack knew, Cloud was on top of the SOLDIER’s bike. “Nothing personal,” he said, and drove the Buster Sword into the engine before jumping back to his own bike.

The SOLDIER just chuckled, unfazed as he slowed down. “Ah, alas, it seems we shall have to dance another time. Farewell, friends!”

And with a final, maniacal laugh, he fell behind entirely, leaving the rest of them to reach the station in peace.

“Are all SOLDIERs like that?” Wedge asked.

Zack and Cloud exchanged a look, then Cloud realized what he was doing and looked away, shrugging. “Some of them.”

“We’re an… eccentric bunch,” Zack continued. “Never met that guy, though.”

“Well, whatever that was, it’s over now,” huffed Jessie, hand slipping down to Cloud’s (which made Zack’s chest burn, he realized) and tugged him along after her. “We have a schedule to keep, boys!”

She led them out into the street, and for the first time ever, just how _vast_ the difference between the slums and the plate hit Zack like a bag of bricks. Sure, he’d been in the Sector 5 slums before, but he never really thought about how different it was. Rows of identical houses lined the street, only distinguishable by the cars parked in front in front of them and the other odd decoration, in complete contrast to the homes in the undercity below, where everything was made out of scrap metal and every house different and indicative of the individual living within.

But this was only the suburbs for Shinra employees and that was the only reason why it looked this nice, anyways. Zack knew all too well that other sections of the Midgar plate were never as well kept and clean as this.

He could hear people moving around in their homes and the faint smell of mako stung his nostrils as they walked. He tried not to focus on them, instead focusing on the conversation happening around them just then, but ever since his little four-year experimentation course, courtesy of Hojo, all his senses had been enhanced, even more so from his initial SOLDIER dosing.

“Ohh, I love Mrs. Raspberry’s pizza,” Wedge was saying. “The Midgar Special…”

Biggs laughed. “I’m sure there’ll be more than enough to go around.”

Jessie sighed, letting go of Cloud’s hand ( _Finally,_ Zack thought) just as they reached the only house with the porch light left on, despite it nearing midnight. “And look at that,” she murmured. “They still leave the light on each night, waiting for the girl that comes home only once in a blue moon.”

She turned to the rest of them, a grin coming onto her face. “Alright. Cloud and Zack will wait out here while we go in.” She turned and winked at Cloud, saying, “Fill Zack in on the plan. And _you_ boys – “ She put her arms around Wedge’s and Biggs’ shoulders “ – Are coming with me!”

Zack couldn’t help but laugh as she practically dragged them in through the front door, but then that realized that meant he was left alone with Cloud, who was already pretending that he wasn’t there. He moved over to stand beside him behind the corner, offering him a smile. “So the plan?” he asked.

Cloud didn’t look back, folding his arms and scooting away a couple steps. “Jessie wants me to sneak in through the back to steal her dad’s ID. He used to work in mako storage.”

“Wait, ‘used to’?”

Cloud shrugged. “Jessie’s words.”

He didn’t say much else after that, turning his gaze to the line of stray cats walking over the boundary wall.

A few minutes of silent waiting passed between them before Zack couldn’t take it anymore. “Hey, so, uh, I didn’t, like, do anything to piss you off, right?” he asked.

Cloud finally glanced back at him. “Why do you ask.”

“For one, you looked ready to rip me to shreds back at the bar,” he said, then hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I… I don’t… I don’t want us to be, like, at odds? Since we’re both ex-SOLDIERs and also very coincidentally neighbors and all that – “

“Look,” Cloud snapped. “We’re neighbors, ex-SOLDIERS, and, as of right now, _coworkers_ on this one job. We are not friends, _Fair,_ so stop acting like it and stop fucking acting like you _know_ me.”

 _But I do know you!_ Zack wanted to scream. _You’re Cloud Strife! We were best friends! I literally_ died _to keep you safe!_

Instead, he drew in a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “Alright.”

Neither of them said anything after that, Zack fixing his gaze on the pavement beneath them while he listened in on the conversation going on inside. Even through the brick, he could hear everyone clear as day. Everyone was taking their seats at a table while Mrs. Raspberry made conversation, talking about the Sector 8 theatre that needed stagehands just as much as Gold Saucer.

He fought a grimace. Of course Jessie’s parents didn’t know she was in Avalanche.

While he was busy trying not to wallow in self-pity and grief, the light at the back entrance flickered on and Cloud got up. “That’s the signal,” he muttered. “Let’s just get this done quickly.”

Zack almost mentioned that Cloud had never said there would be a signal, but decided to keep his mouth shut and just nodded.

They snuck in through the backdoor, only pausing when they heard Mrs. Raspberry’s voice drifting in from the kitchen door, before Cloud pointed to the door on the right. They exchanged brief nods, and went in.

He did not expect to see a comatose man in a hospital bed.

He shouldn’t have been surprised, in all honesty. While it wasn’t a common occurrence, neither was it unheard of for low-level workers to accidentally expose themselves to high concentrations of mako. But seeing it now, after what happened with Cloud…

Tearing his gaze away from Jessie’s father, Zack turned his attention to the photos hung up on the wall, most of them filled with grinning faces and a happy family. Jessie looked so young and happy in them, dressed up in costumes and gesturing grandly on a stage when she wasn’t posing with her family in the smaller photos.

“C’mon,” Cloud said, holding up the ID card. “Let’s get out of here.”

Zack nodded, not wanting to spend another moment in that room with Mr. Raspberry. They cleared out without much fuss, and by the time they got to the front door, Jesse and company were just leaving.

Cloud handed her the card. “Here.”

“Awesome!” Jesse grinned, snatching the card up. She brought it to her lips and kissed it, then winked at Cloud before turning to the rest of them. “Alright, gang! Follow me!”

And she took off, leaving the four of them in the dust behind her.

Biggs sighed, then chuckled. “Welp, there it is. Come on, she’s not gonna wait for us forever.”

It didn’t take long for Zack to realize that they were walking to the 7-6 Annex. He guessed that Cloud knew, considering that Jesse hired him and all, and Biggs and Wedge probably guessed it, but Zack had no idea what the hell they were doing.

“So you saw what happened to her old man,” Biggs said, watching Wedge kneel to greet the local cats. “Poor bastard.”

Zack nodded, sighing. “Mako poisoning. Looked severe.”

And he knew from experience that a case that severe meant that it would take a long time for him to wake up, if at all. He glanced over at Cloud, who seemed to be having a staring contest with another cat.

“Does it happen a lot, with SOLDIER?” Biggs asked.

It seemed that the cat won, because Cloud finally looked back up at the rest of them. “Sometimes, with new recruits. They just lose themselves in the mako.”

Zack’s lip twitched. _You did._

Biggs blew out a breath as Wedge rejoined them. “She always wanted to be an actor,” he said. “Got her big break, too, at Gold Saucer. But on opening night, her dad had an accident. Got locked in a closet, right next to the mako. They said it was a whole twelve hours before they found him.”

Cloud’s expression softened and he nodded, as if he knew that all too well.

“After that, she started studying up on planetology and stuff, and the rest is history,” Biggs finished.

“Just don’t tell her we told you,” Wedge added, quickly. “I really don’t want a Jesse punch.”

Zack laughed, and mimed zipping his mouth shut as Cloud said, “No promises.”

Wedge’s eyes widened. “Come on, bro!” he pleaded. “No joke, she’s gonna kick our asses!”

“Come onnn, Cloud,” Zack whined, stringing an arm over Cloud’s shoulders. “Take one for the team!”

Immediately incensed, Cloud shoved him off. “Whatever,” he growled, and stalked off. “We shouldn’t keep Jessie waiting.”

The rest of them just stood there for a moment, Biggs and Wedge exchanging looks before looking at Zack.

“Yikes,” Biggs breathed. “Got something going on between you two?”

Zack drew in a deep breath and shook his head. Stupid. He’d been stupid. He should have kept an eye on his stupid old habits.

“No,” he said, and set off after Cloud.

The rest of the walk was quiet, but Zack was too busy focusing on staring at the Buster Sword on Cloud’s back to care. It wasn’t long before they reached the annex parking lot, anyways. Jessie was waiting there for them, arms crossed and a disapproving look on her face. “You boys are awful at keeping time,” she tutted. “Anyways, here’s the plan…”

The plan was she was going to sneak into the annex herself and grab the supplies she needed. The rest of them were to stay behind and create a diversion at her signal, drawing the guards’ attention to them and not her. Zack disagreed and said that she should at least take one of them along with her, in the case where she needed backup and didn’t have any. Jessie just snorted at him and put her hands on his and Cloud’s shoulders.

“You’re gonna have to try harder if you want to land a date with me,” she said. “Besides, with the mess you and Cloud are gonna make, I doubt I’ll have _any_ trouble to worry about!”

“That’s still really reckless,” Zack began, but just gave up when she just turned and ran off before he could finish, sighing.

“She’s always like that,” Wedge said, sympathetically. “She hates feeling like she’s been given a side role.”

“But this isn’t some play – she’s putting herself in real danger. You can’t go into an enemy stronghold without back up.”

Then he snorted, realizing just how much he sounded like Angeal when he used to scold him for doing the same thing.

Biggs burst out laughing and clapped him on the back. “Daaang, you’re even worse than me.”

“Military man, remember?” Zack replied, shrugging. “Everything’s gotta have a plan.”

“Plans keep you alive,” Cloud added, then tilted his head up to the sky as a flare went off. “This one’s shit, but it’s something. Let’s go.”

***

It was getting on to about midnight by the time the last customer left the bar. Barret was upstairs, having put Marlene to bed and making sure that she _stayed_ in bed, which left Tifa alone to close up on her own. Not that she minded, though. After the meeting earlier, she was happy to have some time to herself.

She got to work, getting into an easy rhythm as she bobbed her head along to the slow jazz song playing in the background, cashing up, clearing the tables, cleaning up. She was loading the dishwasher when Barret came back down, the soft _thump thump thump_ on the stairs announcing his arrival.

“Need any help?” he asked.

Tifa shook her head without looking up. “No, thank you. I’m just about done.”

He hummed, then clasped her shoulder. “I’ll finish up for you,” he said. “Take a seat, you’ve been on your feet all day.”

She almost argued and told him _No, I’m fine, really_ , but she stopped short when she turned and saw that he’d taken off his prosthetic. She paused, looking up at the sincerity in his eyes. She sighed and got up. “Alright,” she murmured.

Barret nodded, patted her shoulder once before letting go, and moved aside to let her leave. She took her seat on one of the barstools, watching Barret as he worked. Neither of them spoke, instead the clinking of the dishes and the soft playing of the jukebox filling the bar. Only when Barret was done and wiping his hand on a towel did he finally speak.

“I know you’re upset. And I want you to know I’m sorry, Tifa.”

She looked away. It didn’t matter if she was upset or if he was sorry. They were still going through with the plan, and Tifa was still going to be forced to work with it, whether she liked it or not. She still didn’t get a choice.

“It’s fine,” she said, after a moment.

Barret sighed. “No, it ain’t.”

No, it wasn’t, but at that point Tifa was too tired to come up with the words. She was always too tired to come up with the words.

When she didn’t say anything, Barret just sighed again and pulled out two glasses. “I ain’t in the business of drinkin’ twice in a day, but I’m thinkin’ you deserve it,” he said.

“Barret, I – “

But he was already pouring different drinks into a shaker, managing to balance everything perfectly with one hand. While it was common knowledge that Tifa was the best bartender around, Barret was also known to make a mean drink when he wanted to. He gently nudged Tifa’s shot glass towards her. “Here.”

Managing a wry smile, she raised her glass in a halfhearted toast. “Thanks, Barret,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m being like this, I – “

“Don’t,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “It ain’t your fault. I know seeing your friend again brought back memories somethin’ awful. I get it.”

He paused, looking like he wanted to say more, but instead he picked up his own glass and clinked it against Tifa’s. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” she echoed, sighing as she leaned back to down the drink in one gulp. It burned a bit going down, and she offered him a faint smile. “You’re way better at this than you let on.”

Barret smiled back, shrugging his massive shoulders. “Only for friends,” he replied, and set down his now empty glass too. “Now go home, Tifa. I’ll finish up here.”

She almost argued, but seeing the earnest look on Barret’s face, she couldn’t bring herself to. Relenting, she nodded and got up. “Alright. Thanks again, Barret.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said. “’Night. See you tomorrow.”

Tifa offered him another faint smile as she turned to leave. “Goodnight, Barret. See you.”

Gently shutting the front doors behind her, she took in a deep breath of the undercity air and immediately coughed. She forgot how well the air filters in the bar kept the smog out. She missed the clean air back home.

She shook the thought from her head; no use thinking about it when she was supposed to rest (if she was actually going to be able to was still up in the air).

The streets were always quiet this time of night, and while the air in the slums always verged on the side of warm even in the winter, Tifa found that she liked roaming around at night. Marle had always warned her against it, saying that there were dangerous men around, but Tifa was more than capable of handling herself in situations like that. Shame that it only happened once, though.

By the time she finally reached the apartments, she’d taken ten detours (she counted), circled around to the factory a few times, and passed by the bar again twice. Zack was on the stairs, heading to his room. He paused when he noticed her coming and smiled, resting his elbows on the railing. “Busy night?”

Tifa fought a heavy sigh. She really did not need this right now. “You could say that,” she replied.

“Wanna talk about it?”

The question took her off-guard for a moment, but she shook her head. “No, thanks. I just need some sleep.”

He nodded sympathetically and straightened. “I know what you mean,” he said. “Well, goodnight! See ya tomorrow?”

 _Then,_ Tifa sighed. “Yeah, sure. Night.”

With one last grin, Zack disappeared into his room, door clicking closed behind him. Tifa was about to do the same, but the sound of footsteps coming up the had her freeze without even realizing what she was doing.

“Didn’t think you’d be up this late,” Cloud said, behind her.

Tifa released a quiet breath and turned around. “Bar’s usually open late,” she replied. “And you?”

He shrugged. “I’m used to being up late. Military thing.”

“Is that your answer to everything?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “One of these days you’re going to drop dead and go, ‘Oh, don’t worry about me. It’s a SOLDIER thing’.”

“It is, though.”

Deciding not to dignify that thought with a reply, Tifa just drew in a deep breath. “I ran into Johnny earlier, by the way. Said he was going to get out of town as soon as possible.”

“Oh, right,” Cloud said, after a moment. “That guy.”

An awkward silence fell between them, and when it became clear neither of them knew how to fill it, Cloud moved to leave and Tifa found herself moving forward to grasp his hand before she could even stop herself.

“You’re not thinking of leaving Midgar anytime soon?” The words had tumbled out of her mouth, unbidden. She could feel the heat of embarrassment rise in her cheeks, and she was sure that Cloud would just snort and shrug her off –

Except he didn’t. Instead, he softened and said, “Well, seems this old friend of mine’s in a tight spot. Long time ago I said I’d be there for her. Made a promise, so…”

Tifa surprised herself by chuckling. “I… can’t say this is what I had in mind when I put that on you way back when,” she murmured.

He finally looked at her. “If you wanna talk, I’m listening.”

Unable to help the big smile on her face, she finally moved away, fidgeting with her fingers. “Wow, I didn’t think you’d be losing your hard edge this quickly.”

“That bad?”

“Not at all!” Tifa said, laughing. “I like it. Maybe Marlene won’t be so scared of you next time – “

“She already isn’t,” Cloud groaned, leaning his forehead against his door. “Had a whole conversation with me earlier. Barret’s going to kill me – what?”

Tifa wiped the big grin off her face and pulled away, stretching out her arms. “Nothing, I’m just really glad you’re back,” she said. “Really, really glad.”

When Cloud didn’t reply, she playfully punched his shoulder. “Let’s catch up tomorrow, okay? It’s really late, and it’s not like we have plans anyway.” She drew back and moved to leave. “Goodnight, Cloud. Sweet dreams.”

He just sighed, and Tifa could swear she heard a smile in his voice when he said, “Goodnight, Tifa,” but he left before she could get another look at him.

Smiling quietly to herself, Tifa finally went back to her own room and got ready for bed. For once, she managed to get a good night’s rest before the morning shift.

Which was ironic, considering she’d wake up to a nightmare the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up, because things are going to start ramping up from here on out! you can find me on tumblr [here](https://muzdyke.tumblr.com/) and [here](https://ocxansbelow.tumblr.com/). i've also made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/629jsHTgzwXbsw4yYgfQZS?si=pVJ-6vNoRJaw1rcf4znAzQ) for this fic! the cover artwork is drawn by yours truly ;) there are a couple of songs in arabic, but the translations are easy enough to look up if you need to
> 
> thank you for reading!!


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